Marie Warren

Staff Writer

mmwarren@valdosta.edu

In the last two weeks I have lost three people in my
life by the fates from above. It was a sad day for all of those who
attended the services, and after a few days you have to remind yourself
that you have to learn to live again.
During the last spring semester, we lost a fellow
student that attended our university. She was a student in my
philosophy class, as I’m sure she attended maybe a few of yours as
well. We ended up sending flowers and many words to the grieving
parents of Jennifer Stone and it hit me then on how short life can be.
One fatal car crash took Jennifer away from her loving parents.
A drug reaction took my friend, Jane, away from her parents.
She has two little boys who will be brought up not knowing what their
mother meant to the world. It is a sad thought they will never get to
know her the way many of her friends did. Her smiles and her laughter
will fade from their memories. The scent that lingers in the air when
she enters a room will never tickle the senses again. Her family will have to
move on with the punishment of never holding her again because of one minor
fault.
We all know that grievances can sometimes be difficult
to overcome, but with time and patience it can happen.  Everybody has
bad days. And whether we are grieving or just plain grumpy there are a
few things that we can do to help ourselves and the others around us.
Step one- whether we went to the party last night or
stayed up late studying, it doesn’t matter. The point is, because you
are tired you know that you will be an intolerable bear, and even bears
get hungry. So dig into that bed side table and get out that crunchy
granola bar and let it absorb some of that empty goo you have rolling
around in your tummy. Taking the edge of hunger pains away will let the
endorphins in your body work a little faster.
Step two- before you get dressed, splash your face
down with water, just in case you can’t shower, and let that cold water
wake you up. Forget about the clothes for the time being, because you
and I both know we all have worn a pair of dirty shorts to class. Once
you and your roommates get back from class you can have a laundry
party. (If we can have pillow fights on the front lawn, why can’t we
have a laundry party?) So go ahead and grab whatever you lay your hands
on and pull it over your head.
Step three- yes, we have to wear shoes to class, but
sometimes those shoes just can’t be found. So remedy this action by putting your shoes in a bottom dresser drawer or in a clothes basket if
the closets are full. Don’t toss them under the bed because the never
ending bottomless pit will suck them in.
Step four- if you happen to be like me and fall on your
face in front of a group of people, make yourself laugh. Everyone
gets a little embarrassing now and again, but the key is laughter.
Laughing sends more endorphins through your system allowing you to feel
better, and it can be contagious. So if you have a professor with a
great sense of humor, you might be excused from your tardiness, if they
aren’t already in a deep discussion.
Step five- always remember to smile. Smiling allows your
face to change. When you frown it allows everyone around you to know
to stay away, but when you smile it literally transforms the atmosphere
around you.
Now the question is why am I going through these steps
when I started out talking about funerals and such? Simply put…whether
we are sad or angry, if we let the people around us know that we are
human and touchable too, the world can change every day with
the help of people being nice and being able to show compassion for one
another. A simple smile can go a long way, but the act of frowns and
snarls tend to make others nervous and weary not allowing ones to get
to know you.
And if people can’t get to know you, then what will it
be like for your family if and when your time comes? How will your
parents or children get through the loss of someone they love if there
isn’t any one there to help?
Every card that is written, every flower that is sent
some way makes it more bearable for the families that lose the special
some one in their special lives.
By following these simple steps, they can help change
the grumpy attitudes that we see every day. Therefore, helping yourself make new friends and allowing people to get to know you better can
make you feel better physically and emotionally.
So if you have to fake a smile, do it, for you never
know when someone will impact another life by simply being nice or
smiling at another fellow student as we all walk to class. By making
that first step, and then another, your grief, loneliness, sorrows or
plain old bi-polar systems will subside with the steps that we suggest.

So, test yourself, and see how many smiles you get, by
counting, when you smile at someone else. You may be surprised with
the outcome. Email me at mmwarren@valdosta.edu with the total count of
smiles you receive in one day. :)