Hello ladies and gents:

I have a conflict, and I need some advice. Love has always been an up and down battle that I have gone through, and am going through now. I’ve been cheated on in the past many of times, so I have trust issues. You would think that I would have my guard up—NEGATIVE.  I wear my heart and my love on my sleeve all of the time and that’s how I end up hurt. I just want to be loved back. The problem is I’ve been in a relationship for a little over a year and a half and everything was good at first, but the feelings that I once felt for my significant other are slowly fading away. I do have feelings, but I’m not satisfied with him like I used to be–I’m talking emotionally and sexually. He has more growing up to do. I should be respected more. He should show me that he loves and cares for me more, and I should be treated like a queen. To me, I’m not asking for too much because I was getting all of that in previous relationships– plus I deserve it. I don’t want to just settle with him because we have a child together, but I do want to love him. Well, I do love him but I want to be in love with him like I was when I was with the person before. I just want to feel butterflies! What should I do in this situation?

From,

Butterflies

Dear Butterflies:

So, the problem is, you don’t have feelings for the man that you are with anymore? The best thing we can say for you is to consider your happiness and his. First, you must figure something out. At what point in the relationship did you fall out of love with him? Did he do something like cheat to push you away? It may be that you’re a different person than you were when you met him. There’s a simple solution: re-evaluate yourself. Maybe you just want different things–it happens. You’re probably at that age when you need to think long-term when it comes to relationships–especially since you have a child with this man. Think about yourself, but think about your boyfriend as well. If you don’t want to be with him, don’t pretend anymore. You don’t want to hurt his feelings or string him along. Plain and simple: don’t waste time and energy that could be spent finding true happiness. If you aren’t happy, you deserve to be, and so does he. If there is more to the problem, like trust issues or other baggage, look deep in yourself and figure out if you want to work on it. If not, let it go. If you choose to work it out with him, then take these appropriate steps: COMMUNICATE! COMMUNICATE! COMMUNICATE! We can’t even begin to tell you the number of relationships that we’ve personally seen deteriorate because the couple did not talk to one another. Be honest. Trust us. He may not like what you have to say, but he’ll definitely appreciate you “keeping it real” with him. You say that you still love him so, nine times out of ten, you’re willing to fix whatever is broken. Unless you’re one of those women that says, “love is not enough.” Whatever decision you make, make sure you do it for the benefit of your child. Whether you work it out with your boyfriend or not, that child deserves to have both a mother and a father in their life. Don’t rob that from the child because you fell out of love with their father. Who knows? Eventually, those butterflies may return and you’ll be walking down the aisle in your beautiful white dress while your bridesmaids are modeling those frumpy, pastel Easter Sunday dresses. Hope we’ve helped. If you have more problems, be sure to email us.

Signed,

The Love Doves