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Consider all the options: The ex or the next

Dear Love Doves,

Hi, I’m torn between leaving my ex and moving on. There’s this guy that I’m interested in, but i still have feelings for my ex. I’m afraid that he’s not ready for commitment. My ex seems to have a change of heart in how much he wants a relationship with me. He just recently told me that he’s willing to do whatever it takes to make everything right between us. Deep down i want to give him another chance but I’m afraid because this new guy seems really nice and may be exactly what i need, but my ex may become everything that I’m missing if I completely let him go. I don’t know how to go about things without making the WRONG decision. Help please…

_cindyLOVE

Dear _cindyLove,

First, let us say that this is a common conflict that most people find themselves having trouble with. Now, a word about your ex or almost any man for that matter, he only wants you extremely bad now because he has noticed that you’ve pushed yourself away from him. Men love to have women dwell on the idea of being with them because we tend to do almost anything to keep them. When we stop giving them so much attention and they see us moving on, they begin to do or say things to try to draw you back in. Trust us. We know this from experience. We’re not saying that you should just leave your ex forever. Just sit down and think about what it is that you really want. Don’t try to move on to another guy if you still have feelings for your ex-boyfriend. You won’t put your all into this next guy and you won’t give him a fair chance at trying to make you happy. In the end, you’ll just end up playing with his feelings and breaking his heart. He’ll resent you for it and you’ll never know what kind of chance you could’ve had with him. Now, if your feelings for your ex are as strong as you’re making them seem, then you definitely need to pause before making your next move with this new guy.

If you believe that you truly work things out with your ex-boyfriend, then communicate with him and tell him how you genuinely feel. Let him show you that he is really trying to be with you because he loves you, not because you’re creating a life without him. If he can prove to you that he is worthy of your love, and you still have feelings for him, maybe you two should reexamine the possibility of you two working together. Consider all things. Why is he your ex-boyfriend now? What problems did you have before? As important as it is to regard your feelings, you have to remember what went wrong before. Is he willing to change his ways and are you willing to change yours? Figure out if your relationship could ever work again and if you two can get past what went wrong. If you honestly think it’s not right for the two of you to reconnect then pursue your new crush if you think it is right but only if you’re ready to let your feelings go for your ex.

Be honest with your ex, be honest with your crush and let your heart guide you.

Signed,

The Love Doves

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