It’s been a wild ride these past 30 days. The coronavirus has probably taken away your job, your friends, your sanity and your toilet paper. These are sad, frustrating and uncertain times. However, if you’re reading this, that means you’re still alive. Life doesn’t stop because you’re adjusting to a new normal.
And you know what? Being alive is great, but actually living is even better. Here’s how to get into the spirit this April:
April 1: April Fool’s Day: In all honesty, March felt like an extended preview of April Fool’s Day. Between government officials making ludicrous decisions, people buying up toilet paper as if its some kind of coronavirus shield, spring breakers risking it all to go party in Miami and VSU thinking $26 is some kind of feasible refund for the lowly nonresidential students, I’m scared for what the actual day entails. I just urge you to not jokingly post about having the virus on social media or go out in public and start coughing. Not only will you be swept up by the hazard S.W.A.T. Team, but it’s just uncreative.
Also, your rent is still due today.
April 2: National Reconciliation Day: There’s never been a better time to reconcile with your family and other loved ones. It will act as a preventative measure when you guys inevitably feel like killing each other during the quarantine.
April 4: National Hug a Newsperson Day: I don’t need a hug (I kind of like being alive) but just take a moment to appreciate my colleagues and I at The Spectator. We do it all for you.
April 5: National Go for Broke Day:
This day was tailor-made for the broke college students on a steady diet of projects, essays and Raman noodles. Now though, everyone gets to celebrate with a majority of the nation being on unemployment at the moment and the world economy in ruins. At least we have that stimulus check, whenever that gets sent out.
April 6: National Student-Athlete Day: Let’s take a moment of silence for the students who put their all into their sports career, only to have their entire season ripped out from under them through no fault of their own.
April 10: National Siblings Day: If you haven’t killed, maimed or seriously injured them at this point, take the time out to hug them and spend time with them. Not like you have anyone else to hang out with.
April 12: Easter: The only way to celebrate to have a chocolate bunny to snack on during a Netflix binge. Maybe you can also post your aesthetic pastel Sunday’s best on Instagram for the likes. Whatever you do, please don’t congregate. There are other ways to worship without exposing yourself to the virus and meeting God much faster than you anticipated.
April 16: National Healthcare Decisions Day: It’ll surely reduce the blood on Big Pharma’s hands.
April 18: National Columnist’s Day: Look at me, celebrating a whole 17 days early.
April 19: National Hanging Out Day:
April 22: Earth Day: Remember when our blatant disrespect for the environment was dominating the news cycles? And now we have a national pandemic because of what? A man taking an animal (bat, specifically) out of its harsh, yet natural environment and eating it. What can I say? #Karma.
April 28: Workers’ Memorial Day: Well, that takes on a whole new meaning now. R.I.P. to all the good jobs that were supposed to be brought back.
April 30: Social Distancing Ends: Seriously, stay in the house or we’re going to be stuck until September. Don’t lose your summer vacation being a stubborn moron.
Check out my other “National Days” column here.
Written by Malia Thomas, Entertainment Editor. Photos courtesy of Flickr and Wikimedia Commons.
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